Shutterbug has been chosen

Ah, one more major thing crossed off the list!

I have learned from other people's weddings that photography is one thing to research. And unfortunately, you can do tons of research and still end up with a crappy photographer - and there's no do-over. It needs to be right - you've got 4-5 hours to get some good photos.

An acquaintance of mine is absolutely livid about the photography of her son's wedding. She's so glad she decided to hire a photographer of her own. There are hardly any pictures of the groom's side of the family. Also, there were plenty of shots of inanimate objects - food, floral arrangements, etc. And also backside photos, backs of people's heads. Lots of "artsy" photos of the room (with no one in the photo) and shots taken from a great distance where you would assume a more intimate composition - you know, like the couple are reciting their vows. These photos were taken by a reputable photographer in the DC area - a firm with plenty of weddings under their belt. But you wouldn't know it from the photos. There are also very few good photos of the bride's family. The bride is heartbroken. She wanted candid photos, but not of the back of someone's head.

I have decided to go with a friend who shot two of my cousins' weddings. I told him up front that I'm not a girly girl - I'm not interested in photos of me without makeup, putting on makeup, getting dressed, closeups of my dress on a clothes hanger, closeups of my shoes, etc. My mother and I are only interested in posed, portrait-like shots of the family. No closeups of food, tableware, decor. Bruce agrees with me - we want pictures of people - nice, clear pictures of people and their happy faces. Apparently the bride I just told you about made the mistake of not being specific.

We have plenty of friends who are all budding shutterbugs - so we'll get plenty of candid shots from them. Our photographer will work from a shot list so a lot of pressure is taken off of him and he concentrate on getting good portraits. I'm a little nervous that he's not as experienced as some wedding photogrpahers. But we trust him. We've seen his portfolio and we know we're going to get a bunch of very good photos.

Share your horror stories here - and your advice! It will be greatly appreciated. Thanks!

Sci-fi is the new black!

It's so nice to see other people having sci-fi weddings! check out this couple who are having a "Serenity" themed wedding:

www.bigdamnwedding.com

Brenda and Rob are so cute together! Rob totally looks like Capt. Malcom from Firefly. They left us a note of support. Thank you to all of you who have emailed us! Feel free to leave comments or sign our guestbook. Although, a lot of you correspond with us through our Amazon and eBay sales.

Thank you all for your support! Have a Happy Halloween and be safe!

Did your Mom have to do this...?

You know, years ago, I bet nobody had to send out "save the date" cards, but that's what today's bride has to do. People's lives are so much busier and getting busier every day, that if you want to get on someone's social calendar, you better get on their radar early. And it's not even about being greedy - trying to make sure everyone shows up so you get more gifts. It's about giving people time to plan for it because if they don't get to go, their feelings will be hurt and also relatives who hope to see them won't be upset. It's so hard for today's families to get together. I really wish life wasn't like that.

So, we hope to get these cards out soon - and with an additional reason. Since it's a theme wedding, we want people to have 2 Halloween seasons to find a costume. The other challenge is collecting physical addresses. Bruce probably has several email addresses for some of his guests, but no home address for snail mail. I think that's another interesting change in today's society.

Bruce said we should just email a PDF "save the date" to everyone, but I said no. Firstly, I don't have emails for some of my parents' friends. Secondly, Mom and etiquette states that certain things must be more personal and snail mailed (and I agree). Thirdly, some people like the memento - a paper invitation is a keepsake. Lastly, stuff in cyberspace lives on and on. The last thing we want is the PDF being forwarded by email to people who aren't invited - or worse, posted on someone's MySpace page. I'm pretty sure my Mom didn't have to worry about that when she planned her wedding.

Today's bride also has to make a wedding webpage so that you can easily share information and pictures with your guests. So, we've begun to build our sitelet which will have costume retailers, hotel information, directions to Dante's, etc.

I can't even imagine planning a high-dollar wedding. We are going "no-frills" for our wedding, and there's still so much to do.

Many thanks to all of you visitors! Please sign our guest book.

And the winner is...

Dante's Caterers! How can we pass up such a great deal? Free parking, ceremony onsite, delicious menu with cake included at a awesome price. And the best part is we're getting the room with the disco ball! So, our "Matrix Rave Party" is complete.

These catering halls are very impressive. They've thought of everything - probably because weddings and large parties are all they do. There were places I looked at that were too big for our reception, too small, too expensive. Everything is broken down to a "per person" price. What you're really looking for is two things: does it fit my budget? and does it have a "look" that appeals to me.

We went to one place in Astoria that had a beautiful room. But their "portrait" area was cheesy. It's a nice add-on, but I didn't care for it. You really have to look for what you like. They're all basically great places. The banquet halls have invested money into their decor. They have to - they might be in remote parts of the city in order to have the square footage. I was hoping to have a restaurant wedding with a great view of the city skyline. Some of them boasted terrific views of XYZ bridge. And some of them are liars. The only one I went to had a great nighttime view - but you could barely see the bridge.

Anyhow, I'm glad the hard part is over. We'll put down a deposit this weekend and then I'll have to pick the menu. Right after I find my wedding shoes. There's a juicy blog for another time!

Convenience or cost?

We've been looking at banquet halls feverishly in an effort to secure something a year in advance. The issue that's coming up is convenience vs. cost. Having your wedding in the New York City area presents several problems.

1. Space. There are plenty of places to have your wedding. The question is, what do you get for the money? Some places are literally empty rooms - warehouse lofts - where you can do whatever you want, but the cost is for rental of the space only. Translation: you've got to rent tables, chairs, linens, dinnerware, glassware, decorations.

2. All-in-one banquet halls. Again, what do you get for your money? Some places have stereo equipment built in, while others require renting DJ equipment. Some places include floral arrangements, others do not. Some places have a wedding chapel onsite, others do not. A place to take photos, party favors, cake - may or may not be included.

3. Is the place convenient to parking garages and cheap hotels? NYC is notorious for outrageously expensive hotels with tiny rooms. Parking on a weekend is sometimes hard to find (if it's tourist season) and expensive.

4. Traffic! We were going to have our wedding on a Tuesday (it was an anniversary date of significance to us) but that means people will have to fight rush hour traffic. Even for people coming by subway, rush hour is a major hassle. So, we will have a Sunday wedding instead.

Even by having a Sunday wedding, we're still balancing the problem of convenience for most travelers vs. cheaper cost for us. We love 202 East in Manhattan. It's a wonderful space that includes most rentals. All we have to do is get some flowers, a caterer, and possibly cake. The stereo system is built into the room so we can "plug and play" music from our iPods. But because we're dealing with 2 vendors - the space and a caterer, the cost goes up a bit. We're also considering Dante Caterers in Queens - a bit remote, but does that matter if people are traveling on a weekend? They handle all of the rentals, flowers, food, cake, and all for a bit less money. But is it less money when we consider that there is no music equipment in the rooms? This forces us to rent a DJ or haul over our own music equipment and set it up ourselves and who wants to do that on your own wedding day?

I'm curious to hear other people's opinions and wedding stories. I hope you'll consider leaving a comment! And soon, since we hope to make our decision in the next 2 weeks. Thank you in advance!

Raising the Dough

Bruce and I both recently became debt-free. It's a great feeling! Credit cards are tools of the devil! get rid of yours NOW. They are nothing but money makers for banks with all legislation in their favor. If you think the government is concerned about Americans struggling with debt, think again. Everyone everywhere wants you to spend, spend, spend.

"But Alison, aren't you begging for our money now?" Yes, I am! But I'm not charging you interest. We've tried to make this sales effort as easy as possible by including shipping costs. I hope you're not buying our t-shirts with your credit card. These days, who needs them? A debit card allows you to make credit purchases without being a credit card transaction. I urge all of you to read "America's Cheapest Family" for all kinds of money-saving ideas. It inspired me to keep my wedding costs down. I don't think a wedding should be paid on credit. That's not a good way to start your life together. Bruce and I are also working on our new business, which we will also attempt to keep "credit card free" as long as possible. Every t-shirt you buy before we launch the line next year really helps us spread the word about our designs!

In the spirit of raising cash, Bruce and I have been selling various things that just take up space. A big part of today's recycling generation is about giving away or selling your unwanted or unused items. If you've ever lived in New York City, you know that space is a premium!!!!! And sometimes you just get bored with things you own. You've got to get rid of the clutter. We've been busy posting CDs, DVDs, books, and collectible toys on Amazon and Ebay. I also started a "virtual" yard sale at Domesticsale.com. I haven't yet figured out how I could post links in this blog. But in the meantime, let me tell you how much I love Domesticsale!

If you're like me, you've noticed that Ebay is getting too commercial. It's getting harder and harder to find those one-of-a-kind, bizarre knick knacks that you could bid on for pennies and probably end up buying for a few dollars. There are so many great online classified ad places now where you can post things for FREE. And Domesticsale let's you do this - with pictures - for a whole year - for FREE!!!!! So empty out your closet and start selling stuff! I'm already at almost $100 just from Amazon. I can't wait to see what happens on Domesticsale. We know these classifieds work because we have sold our t-shirts there. You might see our ads for Mexican Wrestling Squirrels there. But please pretty please consider buying from us directly. It's cheaper for you and we get the money directly - no middle man.

More news as it develops, but I hope you're inspired to sell! I always get a kick hearing from my Ebay customers. What a neat internet world we live in! You can talk to people all over the world and share your hobbies. I'll let you know what happens on Domesticsale - I'll be posting stuff there over the next few weeks. After that, I can blog about what I'll be buying for my wedding.

Peace and Prosperity to you!

Sci-fi theme chosen!

Why are we having a science-fiction themed wedding? Because we're sci-fi geeks! There was no question about what type of wedding we'd have, only what kind of sci-fi wedding. We're both very creative, non-traditional people. As artists, we'd like something different, something that expresses our love of art and science fiction.

We thought about "Star Wars." But Princess Leia's dress is pretty plain and frumpy. Any type of Queen Amidala dress would be costly. Bruce wanted a "Battlestar Galactica" theme because we looooove the new series. But the costumes are drab and also unavailable. Same for "Farscape" or "Firefly/Serenity." We want this wedding to be affordable for everyone, so we thought about what costumes are easily available. "Star Trek" was a thought, but I don't want to wear pants to my wedding, and any cool dress would be from an obscure character (and also not readily available). My friend Mike suggested "X-Files," since I already have Agent Scully hair. But that's too plain - no far out sci-fi costumes there, just regular clothes.

It finally hit us - "The Matrix"!!!!! Not a typical romantic film, but neither are any of the other sci-fi hits. The costumes are slick, a bit futuristic, and our guests could create something for themselves that would "fit" the movie's decor. Oh yes, there will be participation in our wedding! We're having a Matrix Rave Party Wedding!

Anyone who knows Bruce has heard him create his own mobile rave party by "beat boxing" rhythms wherever he walks. Alison has always been a fan of dance music - house, freestyle, hip hop, techno, electronica. We want people to dance and have fun, so it just all seems to fit. Think of the "cave rave" in the 2nd Matrix movie. Except instead of a cave, we want DJ lighting, neon, glow sticks, candles.

So, Bruce has chosen a fitted Neo button-down coat with Asian styling. I don't want to wear black, or anything skintight, LOL! I have chosen an Asian style dress. At this writing, it looks like my Dad will be Morpheus! And I'd love our wedding party to be all Agent Smiths. Why not? I have no bridesmaids. My brother John will be my Man of Honor, and my 3 best friends happen to be guys - cousins Nick and Jeff, and best friend Mike. Bruce has his brother Romeo as his Best Man. Groomsmen are Uncle Carlos, and best friends Tony and Susan. Everyone is enthusiastic about the idea! Probably because they all know us as sci-fi geeks. And some of them are sci-fi geeks, too! A lot of our guests are sci-fi geeks too, so we can expect some them to dress in costume as well. What a nerdy but awesome party this will be!

Not your traditional wedding, but then I never wanted a traditional wedding. As a teenager and a fan of Billy Idol, I used to tell people I wanted to be married in a white leather mini skirt (so I could wear it again - so practical!) and ride to the church on a Harley. In college, Las Vegas was getting popular for crazy themed wedding chapels - you could be married by aliens! I joked that I wanted to be married in Vegas by a black or Chinese Elvis impersonator. Having a Matrix wedding just fits. To me, this IS my perfect wedding. It's a creative expression of things we both enjoy - art and sci-fi. Many people have commented that Bruce is the male version of myself, that we are "two peas in a pod." I have always wanted to marry my soul mate. And I have never compromised on that dream. I've waited a looooong time to get married - but Bruce was totally worth the wait!

How We Met

People always chuckle when I tell them how I met Bruce. We met on the Internet! Everyone always wonders, "does it work?" Yes, it does! Sort of. You need a little divine intervention. More on that later.

In this age of computer dating, I have tried plenty of Internet options - Match, eHarmony, AOL, Yahoo!, Craigslist, American Singles, you name it. None of them worked. I would chalk it up to a numbers game. You have to keep getting out there and meeting people. You could meet losers in a bar, at the gym, through your friends, at a club meeting. I've tried them all.

I will admit to getting discouraged, and my buddy Mike will confirm it. I was just about to give up when I remembered my Aunt Alice. Before she passed away, she would always tell me to pray. She relied on prayer to help her cope with her disease. I'm still impressed by her patience and faith. So I thought to myself, I've been very patient. There's got to be someone out there for me. Aunt Alice would tell me to pray. But to be very specific! That was a running joke with us.

A long time ago, we had a conversation where I was griping about something and she reminded me to pray. I probably said something like, "I do pray! but it doesn't work!" And she probably said something like, "Yes it does! What did you pray for?" I told her, "I asked God to make me a more patient person. And now I feel like I'm paying for it!" I remember Aunt Alice laughed and said "Alison, don't pray for patience! NEVER pray for patience!" Because you will learn that lesson, but not in a way you want. God will surely test your patience. There were days where I wished I could take back that prayer and say a different one. Aunt Alice also laughed because she'd been there too - she had also prayed for patience. For her, I think it was good prayer. When she first got sick, doctors told her she had 6-12 months to live, and she lived for almost 2 decades past that.

So I thought to myself, "what would Aunt Alice do?" :)

Aunt Alice would say to never give up on something - just pray for it, and it will come. Maybe not in the form you thought, or when you want it, but God answers prayer. But you MUST be SPECIFIC! I remembered the 2 of us laughing about that. So I decided to be very specific. My cousin-in-law Sheila gave me the most amazing book - "Creative Visualization" by Shakti Gawain. I began to meditate on what my perfect husband would be. I was very specific about what I wanted - someone creative, artistic, someone with very similar hobbies to mine, someone romantic and affectionate, someone close to his family like I am to mine, etc. I used Shakti's "pink bubble technique" and visualized the attributes I wanted this man to have. You visualize putting them into a pink bubble and then letting it go - out into the universe where it can collect what you want and bring it back to you. I did this almost every day on my subway commute to and from work. And at night, I would ask God, "I put my pink bubble out into the universe. Can You please bring this specific man to me? And even more importantly, will You open my eyes and show him to me so that I don't miss Your gift? Because I know You will answer my prayer, but I'm afraid I won't see what form You sent him in."

How much more specific can you get?! "God, bring me my man and make sure I know he's the one You sent!" This went on for several months. I wasn't having any luck with online personals. Then a light bulb went on. Maybe I can be even more specific? I posted a profile on AsianRomance.com. I was on there for maybe a month. Bruce was on for about 2 weeks. We met and the rest is history.

God answers prayer! Just do it!

And remember to be VERY specific. (Thanks, Aunt Alice!)

Welcome to our blog!

Weddings are tough! Everyone keeps telling us it will be hard, but so far, it's been easy. With the exception of...MONEY. Isn't that always the case? Everything comes down to money. So, this blog will chronicle our wedding plans, and we invite you to post your comments, suggestions, referrals to great deals, tidbits of info or personal wisdom, and your own wedding plan combat stories.

We also invite you to help us out financially. But everyone knows that in life, you don't get something for nothing. We wouldn't want you to, either. So, we're offering deep discounts on our t-shirt line. Please help us out so that Grandma Dorothy can come to our wedding! Buy a shirt and a generous portion of the sale will fund her airfare, oxygen tank, oxygen machine, and portable bottles. A portable bottle only last 6-8 hours, so she'll need a new bottle as soon as she lands in Newark Airport. And we'll need to keep a giant oxygen tank in her hotel room that she can get refills from.

I would be so grateful for any small amount you can offer. I am the oldest of her 4 grandchildren, and the last to get married. I really want her to come to my wedding, and she really wants to come. She's 88 and you don't know how much time you have left with your loved ones. Believe me, I KNOW this idea is tacky - and even if I didn't, my mother has told me so. But words can't describe how desperate I am to have Grandma come to my wedding. She has always been my inspiration to stay fit. She has always encouraged me to keep enduring through any obstacle. She doesn't know yet that Bruce & I are doing this. She'll probably cry every time I call her and say "someone just bought a shirt for your airfare!" We're not asking for much. We're not going to use this idea as a money maker. Once we have what we need, the whole operation will be turned off.

Thank you in advance for what I hope will be your not only your financial support, but what I hope will be your emotional support - through your visits to this blog, sharing your comments, and sharing this site with your friends.